{ An Autopsy of Democracy }

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Iraqi Leader Seeks Regime Change In Washington

Hussein met with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Anan this week to make the case for invading the United States. (satire)

Although the U.N. Security Counsel has been reluctant to offer its support for an invasion of the United States, Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein vowed to invade with or without U.N. authorization.

"The United Nations has let the American regime get away with far too much for far too long, and it's time to back up its words with actions, lest it become irrelevant," Hussein told the Counsel.

Hussein cited a vast array of reasons for invasion.

"I will first demonstrate that the United States is a violent rogue state, which has consistently behaved agressively, displayed utter contempt for the rule of law, for democracy, and for human rights, and has aided, abetted, financed, and protected terrorist organizations, repressive militias and paramilitary groups, and repressive dictators. I will recount how the United States has acted willfully and consistently to undermine and control the United Nations, thereby jeopardizing world peace. Furthermore, I will show that the United States under its current leadership is out of control, and poses a dangerous and immediate threat to Iraq and to the world.

"With an annual budget of more than $400 billion, the United States of America spends more on defense than the rest of the world combined. The U.S. has more nuclear weapons than any country has ever possessed in the history of this planet, and rather than working for disarmament continues instead to develop new nuclear weapons--specifically what are called "mini-nukes," which are quite clearly being developed with the full intent of their use.

Even more frightening, however, is the fact that the U.S. is currently attempting to militarize and control space, to set up satellite bases in space from which nuclear weapons can be targeted at any site on earth. This not only violates several U.N. resolutions but threatens the security of the world and indeed the very survival of the species. The U.S. is in violation of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, and its actions have fueled weapons proliferation.

In addition to hoarding nuclear weapons, the U.S. possess--and has used--chemical and biological warfare agents, which we believe it continues to develop. The country's refusal to allow inspections, and its repeatedly voting against resolutions prohibiting such weapons, can only lead us to assume the U.S. possess them and has no plans to destroy them.

Mr. Anan was compelled to agree that all of Hussein's arguments were correct and accurate, and conceded that there had been countless violations of international law. "While it is true that the United States has often acted willfully to undermine our organization and the standards of human rights, justice, and international law," Anan said, "we do not perceive that the United States at this time poses a sufficient imminent threat to justify the use of force. We will work with Iraq and the international community in continuing our policy of containment towards the United States, and will not authorize military intervention until all avenues of diplomacy have been pursued. War should always be a last resort."

Hussein has repeatedly demanded that the United States allow U.N. weapons inspectors unfettered access throughout America, including in private industries such as Bechtel, Drummond, and Lockheed Martin. Hussein also said he will not be satisfied until the White House and the Pentagon are also thoroughly inspected, along with hospitals, churches, schools, and other public facilities.

"If we don't find any WOMD's, I can assure you it is because President Bush is hiding them. We believe he may also be trying to smuggle the weapons to Canada or Mexico."



| |

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?